what did you decide?
your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.
NIDO QUBEIN
so remember last time I asked you, as we move from summer to winter, as the fall season approaches...what will you do? how do you want to grow? change? learn? how do you want to express the fullness of your humanity?
well i answered that very question myself. i decided to go the Himalayan Institute and "take on" the Sri Sukta level 2 immersion practice. this with the adage in mind: "if it scares you, it's yours to do." honestly, i originally didn't "see" myself doing this practice, which is an ego protection we all have that keeps the ego in charge and our soul small. because, honestly! we can do anything we choose to do and many things we choose not. it's just that we make choices. choices to grow, change, expand our capacity for love, beauty, and joy, or stay small, rigid and contained.
let me be clear: this was not an easy choice. the practice was not easy: meditation 3-4 hours a day, reciting a mantra 73 times a day. the sri sukta mantra takes 3 minutes just for one round, all in sanskrit. plus, there were some other practices that needed to precede the mantra before you began your recitation.
there were times in the beginning when i resisted, sometimes mucho resistance.i talked to others who were with me (there were 72 of us), who had the same feelings. others who were there had done this practice once and some people twice before, at first i thought they were cray-cray ;).
in the end, i was up to something bigger than myself (my ego).i wanted to expand my capacity to love, to feel and see beauty all around me, to experience joy in all things at all times. so i kept on, keeping on. momentum took hold and somewhere in the middle it got easy...yes, easy! it was hard, it was wonderful, it was uplifting, yes! i will do it again (shhh..., i am sure Jamie doesn't want to hear that right now).
so i am saying to you with full conviction and having been there: get on the mat for a yoga class, take the fitness class, sit and mediate. just start it. even if you can't picture yourself doing it, even if all the resistance in the world is coming at you. yes! it will be hard at first. keep at it. build momentum. it will get easier and you will be amazed at what you can really do when you set your mind to it.
after all YOU.ARE.WORTH IT!
-light your lamp & you light the world
june